When rape is inevitable, just close your eyes and enjoy.

Looking at the placements so far, I think it’s about time people started looking for alternatives.

For the girls, it’s pretty simple. Just catch hold of a guy who has been assured a fat pay-cheque from next year, and marry him.

If your magic works, all your problems will become his. And hey, if he can eke a job out of a tank of shit this deep, he isn’t very likely to fall short of work very soon. So fair Ellens of 2k5, go, and find thy knight with the shining laptop!

You have some pretty good choice, too. There’s Banga, there’s Ojasvi, there’s Saraswat.

And of course, there’s always Vivek Prakash.

Not to forget PK. Yeah, go and marry PK.

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For the guys, it’s not that easy to come to, but once you stop thinking straight and start thinking crooked, it’s pretty simple.

There are a few ladies with assured fat pay-cheques for next year.

Go, and marry them.

What, why should you? Well smarty, there’s no reason not to.

a) They’re pretty.

b) They work hard and will earn well. Play your cards well, and you get to spend you entire life watching 20-20 cricket, crunching munchies with both your legs placed on the center table while she codes away to glory and brings in the dough.

c) They’re smart. They’ll produce kids who will be smart and won’t have to worry about jobs like yourself.

So, take my advice and stop studying and start wooing. That’s where the future is, after the demise of IT and finance.

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Common Advice for guys and gals: Closeness between a guy and a gal, both already placed, is a terrorist. Such an animal should not exist. Shoot it at first sight. If you see such a couple, guys, beat the hell out of him. And girls, bitch the hell out of her. Or vice versa.

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PS: For those who decide to marry, I’ve heard that gag is a Brahmin. May God bless!